But I LOVE the Tree...

When I was in the third grade I remember asking my father how many days til Christmas . We were sitting at a stop light in Newton, NC next to the Bojangles and he replied, "21 days." OH 21 days- might as well have been a year! He spoke to me reassuringly," but 21 days will go by very fast!" I love Christmas time. It has always been a really big deal at our house, ramped up by the weekly advent services, count down calendars, devotions and practices for the Christmas program when I was a child. There were several Christmas traditions I enjoyed, but the one that topped all the rest was decorating the tree. My mother had these painted wooden ornaments that we hung every year, and there was this silly blue dog made from spun polyester over a foam ball, decorated with pom-poms and googlie eyes- he was my favorite. My great grandmother delighted me with her homemade goose egg ornaments. Each year she would send a new enchanted batch for us, lined with velvet and decorated with all sorts of embellishments from crystal beads to small plastic figurines. They were amazing, and no one else had such a thing on their tree. There was a space to insert a yearly picture into these ornaments which personalized them, and gave us ownership over our tree decorations. My parents always accomodated our wishes to have colored lights on the tree, and I would sit at night and cup each of the colored lights with my hands and lean in so that the colors splashed across my hands and face. I let my pupils relax and the light would scatter like the filter on a fancy camera. Oh how I still love to sit in a dark room with a lit Christmas tree and this year was no different!

I convinced Chad to go to the Raleigh Farmer's Market this year to pick out the perfect tree. He really didn't want to drive so far and was a bit concerned that the tree might fall off the car. But I had a glimpse of the market on TV and it looked like the perfect place to find a tree, so he relented. We went to Mimi's after church for a scrumpteous lunch and headed off to the tree destination. As we neared the market floods of cars passed us, all with deep green trees tied on top. Excitement began to build in the van, and by the time we found a parking spot the kids burst out of the doors and ran into the closest "stand of trees." They were all so lush and full and tall. Braden immediately sought out the largest one of the group- "this is IT Dad!" We had just started though, and there were vendor after vendor trying to convince us of their trees' worth. "Here's a candycane for your children," "Hold on, you have to smell this one...isn't it just fantastic?" "What do you think of this one here?" "Oh you like that one, I'll give you a deal!" We meandered through rows and rows of evergreens, loosing the children from time to time. There were so many trees it felt as though we were playing marco polo at times to find one another. Then, on the fringe there were the "ginormous" trees. A slow grin slipped across Chad's face, and I knew he had found the tree. "Yep, that one there is 13 feet tall, been growin' her for about 18 years," and suddenly the deal was underway. Soon we had a beautiful tree loaded on the van, and off we went home. She was truely majestic, and we had her decorated by evening. There she stood in our living room covered in 1500 lights, sparkling ornaments, and flowing red and gold ribbon. We all loved her. With the addition of lit garland around the stair rails and fireplace, it felt magical in our living room, like we had recreated a small piece of the Biltmore right here in Granville County.

So on Monday, just the fourth day of Christmas, I was very sad to take my beautiful tree down. Don't get me wrong, it was time. She had rained needles all over the floor and was starting to dull in color. The children helped me remove the decorations, and as they came off we all became more meloncholy. I mumbled something about missing the tree and suddenly Ashlyn threw her arms around the side of the tree and announced she needed to give it a hug. She began to desperately gather up the needles on the floor... "I have to get a bag...to save these...I will miss the tree so much!" Caedmon, who is just three, looked up at me and said, "The tree will look beautiful outside, mommy." (He thought we were going to plant it...I wish!) Then I had to explain to him that it was cut, and dying... How completely depressing! Oh... but then I reminded them of our family tradition of cutting off the branches and saving the tree trunk, and of our annual bonfire, and that seemed to perk everyone up a bit. That night, we brought in a tarp and clipped all of the branches and removed the debris from the living room. One day, I intend to create some type of family heirlooms from all of those beloved tree trunks. Braden looked around and said, "why does everything look so normal, Mom?" "Because Christmas is over, for this year, honey." And like my dad said, don't worry the time will go really fast!